Guide at the Threshold
A.J. Pape
Listener, Excavator, Fool
A.J.'s knowledge of loss and rebirth comes from the inside out. His lifelong practice is deep listening, unearthing what is really true under the surface and leaving room for the absurd, the ridiculous, the "what if…."
Growing up in a large restaurant family and professionally trained in the theater from childhood, he is a student of what is felt but unspoken and what is invented but has the force of reality. Professionally A.J. has worked as a leadership facilitator, relationship mediator, addiction peer counselor, and improv performer. What is common across all his work is the practice of being present, of inviting truth, and interrogating what we consider real, possible or impossible. He has practiced as a somatic and embodiment coach and mentored others in somatics since 1999.
As a relationship death doula, A.J. brings his own experiences of love, ecstatic collaboration, breakdown, grieving and repair. Working with his own relationship ruptures has shown that just as the Buddhists say "In life, there is suffering," so in important long-term relationships there is hurt. We hurt and we get hurt, if we are on a heartfelt path with someone for long enough. These hurts can feel brutal in the moment, but with attention and gentle persistence they can become keys to unlocking deeper self-knowing, a more wide-awake practice, and the integration of our own orphaned parts. He considers the work of relationship care and hospicing to be an honor and a privilege.